february seventh...

today i made a choice. more like, i responded to where i feel like the Lord wants me to be right now. but nonetheless a choice that has ramifications, repercussions if you will. for those of you who read this, who don't, or who never will this choice is something, someone that i'd never thought i'd be. that being said, i'm taking this semester off of school. for reasons relating to my major and credit hours, but also related to my happiness and well-being. uga has been wonderful and the Lord has used it to show me some incredible things, but it isn't my home. i haven't been happy there in awhile, and sometimes unhappiness exacerbates previous problems and that's the cycle and situation i found myself in. i would like to say that this choice won't change me, that it won't define me, or that it won't alter the views people have of me. but, i've never really been an idealist. i realize that this will shape who i am and who i become. that some people will judge me for this, that i will be seen as somewhat differently than before. i'm praying about that, that i learn to live with that. because in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter. who i am is infantile in comparison to who He is. so if others views of me change, that's something i need to accept. but what is unacceptable is for their views of Him to change. i wish i could say that this is beyond the shout of a doubt the right choice for me right now, but i can't be entirely positive of that. positivity is quite difficult without hindsight and even then, years confuse situations and clarity is skewed. i don't really know what this post is or is about, it's just something i had to say. So now, i'm not in school, i'm back home, but ironically i think that's something i'm struggling with, finding a home (temporary although) and happiness in that. i don't think it's riveting or groundbreaking, i think alot of young adults or whatever they chose to call us struggle with today. i think it's a common problem, but it's also one that i cannot solve on my own. i'm asking that this would just be a season in my life where i am renewed by the Lord and filled with His spirit. I need that right now, but truthfully i think we all need that right now. if anyone is out there and feels hurt or disappointed in my choices, i'm sorry, and i'd like to explain it to you. just let me know, and i'll be happy to try. goodnight everyone, sweet dreams from a heavy heart.