i know you think i don't let you in. that i'm distant and independent and we're not really that close. and honestly, i can't tell you any different than that. but that has nothing to do with the two of you as much as it has to do with me and who i am. i love and respect you both immensely and am so grateful that you are the two people that the Lord put in this position of authority over my life, but i wish you could understand that who i am has nothing to do with who you are or who you've been. i'm not sure why i like to keep to myself, or why i don't share my life with you like some kids do. i can't offer an explanation, because truthfully i don't have one. it's just who i am. i'm so grateful that the two of you haven't tried to change me, that you've respected it and grown from given me instruction to counsel as i've gotten older. but, nonetheless i know this hurts you. i know it's not easy for you to understand that my silence or lack of openness is affection in my own warped way, but it is. i wish i could make you understand that, but i can't. so i suppose, if there were one thing i could say to you, it'd be that i love you both and i'm so proud of each of you and i couldn't have asked God for a better family.
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